REHEARSING FOR THE BIG SHOW

Thursday, July 22nd.
Johnny and I arrived bright and early at the community center and he was introduced to all the players – Coach, Miss Joanne, Cassidy the dance teacher and her sister Mallory, Gareth the computer teacher, Miss Patsy at the front desk, Miss Joiner the reading teacher, and Mr. Willie and Mr. TC the swim coaches. AND…he was attacked by my Little Girls who had been eagerly waiting all week for his arrival. He was surrounded by their bright pink energy and questions and concerns. Awesome! Johnny started to witness the amount of energy and chaos that swirls around me all day, every day. He hung out in my classroom and received the full onslaught of their impulses and battles and meltdowns – and he saw moments of absolute sweetness and readiness. As far as rehearsal in the classroom would tell, they were on target for a good performance. AND THEN LUNCH. The Little Girls surrounded Johnny at lunch and asked a million questions about his sandwich and snacks. He continued to be astounded by the noise and activity level and the way all hell breaks loose for 60 minutes straight. From lunch, the performing arts kids were slated to rehearse. For the record, that includes about 85% of the overall enrollment and we were in a gym that echoes and bellows. The kids were wild, they were unfocused and they didn’t really know how to place themselves in the much larger environment. And they weren’t listening to each other or themselves or me. So…when in Rome…Miss Jane unloaded a vocal tirade that should have brought the walls down. Now, they were listening. And we started again – because that’s what we do in theatre. We rehearse until we find comfort and are able to be our best, focused, energetic selves. Still, it was hard for the theatre kids to put themselves on the line with the dance kids staring at them and judging. There was a lot of nervous and judgmental snickering from the dance kids and this did not help the theatre kids to be brave. In general, the theatre kids and the dance kids represent two distinct cliques with only minor overlap. The theatre kids are far less influential than the dance kids, so it took a lot of courage and will power to get up there and perform. While I understand all of this, it’s also just a series of excuses for delivering less than one’s best self. If you know me, you know my motto is DEMAND MORE. And I did. I tore into the Big Girls with a whole thing about not letting these other kids diminish their power. Respect yourself. Respect your words. AND DON’T LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM BEING THE MOST YOU CAN EVER BE. The second time through was much better, but it never reached the amazing heights it had reached in our small and safe classroom. And speaking of fear, you should have seen the Big Boys retreat in rehearsal. These giant boys who had been so loud and confident and fun in class had their heads bowed, their voices muffled, their energy gone. I got them in a huddle and went one-on-one with every pathetic excuse they offered. I was Doc Rivers and they were my Celtics and not even Kobe was a good enough excuse for why they didn’t live up to their potential. I’m comforted to report that the fear and self-conscious behavior that enveloped my performers also enveloped the dancers, as well. All the teachers were in a fit of frustration and fatigue. I didn’t feel like a total failure.

Let’s follow this rehearsal with another 90 minutes of class time entirely filled by my wild Little Boys. They were out of control. Willful, not listening to anything, impossible. I looked over at John and he looked like he hadn’t slept in three days. Hilarious. This place was wearing him down and he was just observing!!! Finally, I demanded silence and I started to play the magic music – Bobby McFerrin’s “Invocation.” This is the music we relax to every day at the start of class. It was mesmerizing. In no time, the kids had quieted down. My darling Marquis curled up with his head in my lap. Noahble and Josh rolled across the floor in time to the music – almost like a rolling meditation exercise. And we were able to end the day with a note of hope. PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT LESSON: The importance of ritual in the classroom. It brings us together. It’s something we all can understand. It provides comfort. LIFE LESSON: The healing power of music. PERSONAL OPINION: Bobby McFerrin rules!

The kids went home, Johnny hung the silhouettes and the girls’ Clearly Human sculptures, and off we went to Port of Call for the country’s best cheeseburger and baked potato! We also bought pretty journals for all the Big Girls and I wrote letters to each of them to remind them of how uniquely special they truly are. Friday will be my last day and it is going to take all my strength to say goodbye. I really don’t ever want to return to California. I have learned to love this amazing city and its wonderful children.